Your partner says they are pregnant, but you don’t see the changes right away. Within a few weeks their nausea and fatigue are followed by what you might perceive as weight gain, but really it’s their pregnancy. And what about the baby? Many partners say that the baby does not feel “real” to them until the baby is born.
Partners often find that pregnancy creates stress in their relationship. One of you is thinking of the baby and feeling pregnant every moment of the day. After the announcement phase of the pregnancy, life for you may turn back to work as usual, and this difference in experience can make communication awkward. The reality is that you each of you have a different experience of the pregnancy.
Pregnant and non-pregnant partners may experience emotional changes in pregnancy. You may be anxious about your partner’s health during pregnancy. You may have tension in your relationship now that they are pregnant. Some families or individuals seek counselling or support to deal with these changes.
It is very normal for a person who is pregnant to have mood swings during pregnancy. Some of these feelings are caused by normal physical and hormonal changes during pregnancy. Other feelings are a result of changes that pregnancy and impending parenthood bring to your life and your relationships.
If your partner has long periods of sadness and crying, poor sleep or inability to eat, they may have depression. Depression can occur during pregnancy just as at any other time of life. Talk to your partner and health care provider if you think this is the case. Along with rest and social support, some pregnant people need medications to help them with severe depression in pregnancy. Their physician will know of the medications that are safe for use in pregnancy.
The 24 hour telephone support at 811 (Health Link) can connect you with a nurse to ask questions and get help if you are wondering about depression in your partner or yourself.
Some people that are very close to the pregnant person may experience sympathetic symptoms such as nausea, weight gain, and changing emotions. You may be surprised if this happens to you, considering that it’s your partner who is pregnant! Research suggests that if you experience these types of symptoms, you’re likely very in tune with your partner’s pregnancy and ready to take on the role of parent
Being involved in the pregnancy
By staying connected to your partner and to the pregnancy, the baby will seem more real to you. This will also help ease your own adjustment to parenthood, and help others see you as a parent. Here are some ways you can take an active role:
- Feeling the baby move
- Hearing the baby’s heartbeat
- Seeing the baby on ultrasound
- Telling friends and family about the pregnancy
- Giving the baby a nickname
- Reading or singing to your baby before birth (babies can hear as early as week 20 of the pregnancy!)
- Attending doctor’s appointments with your partner and asking your own questions
- Attending prenatal classes
- Reading books and websites about pregnancy and parenting
- Thinking about the kind of parent you want to be
- Talking with your partner about the kind of parents you want to be
- Talking with other parents about parenthood
- Getting involved in daily household activiities.