It’s normal for a new parent to go through a wide range of emotions, from joy, excitement and amazement to fear, sadness, anger and more. You may have mixed feelings about your role as a parent. All new parents go through a time of adjustment after the new baby arrives.
It’s common to:
- Feel stressed. You’re dealing with many changes and looking after many different needs and this can add up to a lot of stress. Your body may react to stress with tiredness or a headache, backache, stomach ache or rash. Too much stress can make you feel:
- overwhelmed, worried, tense or nervous
- angry
- depressed or guilty
- Miss being pregnant. Many people miss having their baby inside of them. Before birth, you had your baby all to yourself. Now you have to share your baby with the world.
- Have worries and fears. You may be worried about your baby’s health and safety. You may be worried about your ability to protect and care for your baby. You may be worried about yourself too.
- Feel overwhelmed. If you feel overwhelmed, put your baby in a safe place, sit down, close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax. Call your support people and ask for help.
Talk to your partner, friend or family member about your feelings. If any of these feelings become very hard to manage, if they stop you from doing things you want to do during the day, or interrupt your sleeping, talk to your doctor or midwife for help and support.
Postpartum Blues
During the first few weeks after the arrival of your baby, you may have periods of postpartum blues. You may feel sad, cry for no apparent reason, feel very tired, or have poor concentration.
Postpartum blues are common and may happen for a variety of reasons:
- Hormonal changes
- Lack of sleep
- Disappointment
- Lack of confidence in your new role as a parent
- Changes in your relationships
- Trying to do too much too soon
You may:
- Feel a little sad
- Cry for no clear reason
- Be impatient and irritable, sometimes for no clear reason
- Feel restless and anxious
- Have poor concentration
- Feel sensitive
- Feel tired and/or have trouble sleeping
- Have mood swings (e.g. joy to sadness, laughing to crying)
These symptoms can last for 2-3 weeks. They will gradually improve as you get more sleep and your hormone levels come back to balance. It helps to talk to someone who can support you. This may be your partner, your friends, or your nurse, doctor, or midwife.
In the first few weeks, remember to take care of yourself by:
- Resting when baby sleeps
- Saying no to the demands of others
- Asking for and accepting help
- Deciding how many visitors you want to have and when
- Taking some time for yourself to do the things you find relaxing, even for short amounts of time
- Eating regular, healthy meals
- Talking to someone if you feel like crying
Postpartum Depression/Anxiety
Postpartum depression or anxiety affects approximately 10 – 24% of women and up to 10% of men. It can occur any time up to one year after giving birth. It can affect the relationship between a parent and their babies, their partners and their entire family. Any parent can develop postpartum depression, whether this is their first child or not.
If you are having any of the following feelings, thoughts or behaviours after the arrival of your baby, you may be experiencing postpartum depression and/or anxiety:
Depression Symptoms:
- Feeling sad
- Feeling like you aren’t good enough, like a bad parent or a failure
- Not feeling pleasure
- Often feeling close to tears or crying for no reason
- Feeling angry, agitated or irritable
- Frequent mood changes or swings
- Feeling overly concerned about your baby’s health
- Fear of being alone or going out
- Not enjoying or being interested in usual activities
- Having trouble concentrating
- Feeling exhausted/tired, having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much or nightmares
- Changes in appetite (eating too much or not eating)
- Don’t feel like doing anything (unmotivated)
- Trouble coping with day-to-day activities
- Withdrawing from social contact, family and friends
- Not looking after self
- Having thoughts about harming yourself, or wanting to escape everything
- Unable to be reassured by others
Anxiety Symptoms:
- Always worried about your health or the health of your baby
- Always feeling restless, irritable or on the edge, but not knowing why
- Not being able to rest or sleep
- Finding it hard to relax and/or taking a long time to fall asleep
- Unable to be reassured by others
- Developing overly strict routines and constant planning (e.g. making lists, record keeping) that affects your day to day life and upsets you if not followed
- Having to do things over and over (e.g. checking that the house is locked)
- Having panic attacks – episodes of extreme fear and panic that are overwhelming and difficult to bring under control (heart palpitations, shortness of breath, tense muscles, “tight chest”, hot or cold flashes, sweating, nausea and dizziness)
If you have any of these feelings, contact your doctor, midwife or public health nurse. For other suggestions, call the Mental Health Help Line at 1-877-303-2642
Postpartum Psychosis
Postpartum psychosis is very serious but also very rare. Symptoms of postpartum psychosis include:
- erratic/unpredictable, unusual or extreme behavior that is out of character
- high energy, talking quickly, not being able to focus
- extreme confusion, forgetfulness, disorganization
- not feeling the need for sleep
- feeling strong, powerful, or invincible
- having beliefs that are not based in reality (delusions) or seeing/hearing things that aren’t there (hallucinations)
- periods of feeling very depressed
If postpartum psychosis occurs, it can happen very quickly and is usually seen in the first few weeks after a baby is born. There is a high risk of self-harm or harming the baby. The earlier symptoms are recognized, the sooner treatment can begin.
Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency. Call 911 or go to your nearest Emergency Department.